Embracing the Chaos

2015-02-16 Embracing the Chaos PictureI’d like to start off with a story… In January of 2015, a good friend of mine contacted me about speaking at a Spiritualist Church on February 15th… now, this friend had asked me a few times to speak throughout 2014, but I was travelling around the country for 7 months and wasn’t in town long enough to make it happen.  As I was reading her message, my heart beat a little faster, and my hands got sweaty, thinking about speaking here today… Now, this isn’t normal for me when I think about public speaking.  In fact, I quite enjoy it!  I mean, how often do you get to be the center of attention in a room full of amazing people at a Spiritualist Church?!  But… I had an immediate “negative” reaction to her request… for me, this time, it wasn’t about the act of speaking, but it was with regards to the date of the speaking opportunity that had me flustered and unsure of myself.  You see, the day before the 15th (Valentine’s Day) would mark the anniversary of the absolute hardest event that has ever happened to me in my life, and my friend’s request to give ‘an inspiring talk about my adventures’ seemed completely out of the question.  I mean, how inspiring could I be when I’m going through my own process?  How can I lead a group of people in a talk when I’m experiencing such Chaos in my life?  I messaged her back and asked for some time to think about it.  As soon as I pressed send, it hit me… “Those were the EXACT reasons why I needed to do it!”. 


“Chaos” has been a very prevalent part of my life in the last year.  And… “Chaos” was a very prevalent part in YOUR life in the last year too.  Chaos is a very normal and re-occurring part of what is known as the ‘Universal Law of Transformation’.  When I read energy, a key aspect of what I look at is where someone is in the process of the Universal Law of Transformation.  When I can understand where I am or where someone else is in relationship to whatever is going on in my (or their) lives, I have a whole new perspective on ‘why’ things have happened thus far, what to expect moving forward, and what to focus on in the present.


The Universal Law of Transformation has three working components, otherwise known as ‘phases’.   They are called ‘Opening’, ‘Chaos’ and ‘Mastery’.  Opening is all about ‘New Beginnings’, and when you are in this phase you typically, although not always, experience fun, excitement, possibility… and most importantly, POTENTIAL.  Everything that “IS” had its start in Opening.  New ideas, new companies, new relationships, new adventures and the like are all facets of Opening.  Opening is typically a very ‘light’ time, with lots of Play, wonderment, and Enthusiasm, but it can also have its down side too.  There are many people who get hooked on the rush you get from Opening… Daredevils, Shopaholics, Chronic daters or people who bounce from job to job to job are examples of people who are addicted to Opening.  I’ll discuss another downside of Opening in just a bit.


The second phase, ‘Chaos’ is a very VERY normal and essential part of the transformation process… it’s the period of time that exists between the first phase of Opening and the third phase of Mastery.  Chaos is the stage where the most Growth happens.  Once you have a new idea, or get into a new relationship, or discover a new adventure, and you begin to move forward with ‘bringing it into being’, you have moved from the stage of Opening into the stage of Chaos.  Chaos essentially means Growth.


Now, it’s important to note, that ‘Chaos’ does not necessarily need to mean “chaotic”.  Yes, there are times in your life that are crazy, hectic, and chaotic, and if you’re experiencing that it will feel like “chaos”… but “Chaos” can also mean that everything is SUPER, and you can fully enjoy it!  Think about something that you learned recently, something that was fun and exciting and you learned a lot, and you grew… it could be a dance class, or exercising, or gardening, or crocheting, or learning a new song…    Hearing or thinking about doing that thing was ‘Opening’ for you, and doing it was ‘Chaos’… and it was fun!  I remember learning how to drum last summer, with a group of people, and it was great!  LOTS of chaos, lots of learning and growth, but still, it was the ‘Chaos’ phase.


The third phase, ‘Mastery’, is all about the completion or ending of something… Mastery is when things get smooth and easy… if you are in ‘Mastery’, life (or specific aspects of life) are effortless, and can be very rewarding.  Mastery is typically a desirable time, even though Opening can be fun and Chaos means you’re learning and growing… we experience overall satisfaction by experiencing Mastery.  As with everything, there can be a down side to Mastery as well… there are many people who get stuck in Mastery, and who are unwilling (or sometimes unable) to move into new levels of Opening.  When there is a refusal or block to move on from Mastery into the next cycle of transformation, one can experience jealousy, frustration, judgment, and/or fear about life and its components.


My dilemma when my friend asked me to speak was that I wasn’t in Mastery yet, I was still in Chaos.  I also had an expectation, real or made up, that I may be in Chaos still during the first anniversary weekend of the event that changed my life… and I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to give a good ‘inspiring’ message if I wasn’t able to move into Mastery.  When someone creates something for the world, we typically see it when it’s in Mastery…  we don’t read the newest best seller or self-help book if the last few chapters are missing.  We don’t listen to music that doesn’t have some sort of structure, melody, or proper ending to it… when we present something to the world, we typically want it to be in Mastery, and others’ who experience it would generally concur that they want it to be in Mastery as well.


But this was no reason to not speak at the church.  In fact, the very thing I was going through is what I spoke on… Chaos!  What better way to ‘Embrace the Chaos’ than to speak on that very subject?! =)  Just because I’m in Chaos doesn’t mean that I don’t have something valuable to share… and it doesn’t mean I can’t take that opportunity to assist myself in the process either.  Had I told my friend “No”, I would be stopping the process of my transformation, or at the very least slowing it down.  Here was an opportunity to step up and fully own where I am in life, and to share that with you today.


So… as I mentioned earlier, there are people who are addicted to the first phase in the Universal Law of Transformation… Opening.  As soon as they begin to move from Opening into Chaos, they move on to the next person, place or thing… Thereby, seemingly avoiding the Chaos or Mastery phase all together.  But this is just a veil that they use to cover what they don’t want to embrace.  What happens is that they are actually building up layer upon layer of Chaos without even realizing it, and never reach Mastery with anything.  If the Chaos is favorable, this can be a good thing… if the Chaos is not, it will be more difficult.  An example would be when we have opinions about people… if we have a judgment about someone or something, and we never resolve it, it will show up again in other ways, giving us a chance to resolve it.  The more we ignore it, or choose to block it in some way, the more the layers pile up, until we experience Chaos every day, over and over again, in every area of our lives.  It becomes very difficult to find Love, Peace and Acceptance when you spend a majority (or all) of your time in Chaos.


So, what does ‘Embracing the Chaos’ really mean?


It means that I need to recognize when “Opening” happens… when and how it happens, what it entailed, and when it’s about to be over……      When I recognize that it has happened, I know the “Chaos” phase is about to happen….     Remember that the Chaos phase just means that things are changing… and that is not necessarily a bad thing.  And…    just because things are changing, doesn’t mean that the last phase, “Mastery”, won’t happen.  Mastery always follows Chaos…     if we let it!


When we resist Chaos, all it does is holds off Mastery longer.  The point of all of it is to get to Mastery as gracefully and easily as we can.  It can’t happen if we hold Chaos up.  That means, when we stop abruptly in the Chaos phase, or if we delay it in any way, we are only stopping ourselves from experiencing what we really want to experience.  If the level of Mastery that comes in is not what we want, we can always begin a new level of transformation.  We would need to enter into Opening again (i.e. coming up with a plan), moving through Chaos (implementing the plan), and moving into the next stage of Mastery (full or partial actualization of the plan).  We repeat this process until we get a desired outcome.  When you “Embrace the Chaos”, you are allowing whatever is happening in your life to happen.  If you feel called to act in any way, that is fine, as long as your intention is focused on moving through it and into Mastery.  We have to be careful to have Integrity and Self-Responsibility when we practice this, because we will sometimes resist the Chaos without realizing we are.  The key is recognizing where we are in the process, and remind ourselves that the next phase is coming.  If we are uncomfortable, whatever you do, do NOT stop the energy from flowing!  Stopping it resolves nothing… keeping it moving allows us to work with it.


So what happens when ‘Opening’ happens to you without your consent?  What happens when something happens to you that moves you into Opening with something you don’t want to deal with?  …. Which forces a level of Chaos that is also unwelcomed and unappreciated?  This is what happened to me a year ago…   my partner suddenly and very unexpectedly passed away.  It was the ‘beginning’ of a new life for me.  And even though I was in Opening for only a second, the resulting Chaos from that singular event took a full year to shift through, and it’s still shifting.  What I was able to do was to see this, even in my grieving state, and knew that the more I ‘Embraced the Chaos’ that was seemingly thrust at me, the quicker I would get to Mastery.  This became the focus of my life… my new purpose…        “Embrace this… there’s nothing I can do about it… it’s out of my control… what IS in my control, is that every decision I make from this moment on, is all geared towards my own process and what I need to feel so that life can be smooth and easy again.  The more I let the energy move, and didn’t try to stop it, or let it stop me, the easier life became.  I reached smaller levels of Mastery periodically, and each one helped me feel like I was in a better place.  Instead of spending all day, every day in Chaos, I had glimmers of and experiences with Mastery.  The alleviation of the turmoil from the Chaos was worth its weight in gold.  I would not have been able to be where I am today if I didn’t Embrace the Chaos like I did. 


I hope I don’t make this sound too easy… it certainly has not been.  I am tested every day…. WE are tested every day…   to ‘Embrace the Chaos’.  Sometimes we will crumble, and sometimes we will move through it.  The important thing is that no matter what we’re faced with, we need to at the very least take small steps into Mastery, whenever we find ourselves in the middle of Chaos; especially if that chaos is unfavorable.  We cannot get wrapped up in stopping anything from moving forward… we must allow ourselves the ability…    the choice…     to move through it.  Growth is what is important here… we grow when we are in Chaos… whether it is favorable or unfavorable.  The trick is learning how to embrace the growth… the Chaos… when we just don’t feel like it.  Again, we must first recognize what Opening was.  Then we need to recognize when we’re in Chaos.  Then we have to decide for ourselves whether we want to stay where we are, or do what we need to do to move through it.


There is a famous quote, spoken by Mia Farrow of all people!… she said, “Life is about losing, and doing it as gracefully as you can.”  I don’t quite agree with that…       instead, I would say, “Life is about transforming, and doing it as gracefully as you can.”  I hope I was able to shed some light on your world by connecting you to looking at it through the lens of this perspective…  the next time you feel stress, anxiety, fear, or resistance… ask yourself, “Am I Embracing the Chaos?”.

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